My Dearest Daughter
Time seems to go by faster as I get older. From the moment you were born to now seems like a blur. And yet, you have grown and blossomed into a wonderful Christian woman today. From early on in your childhood, through schooling, and now your engagement period, your mother and I have been praying for both you and your future husband. God has always had the perfect mate for you, and in His time.
This week will be filled with family, friends, and lots of nostalgia. From the first guests coming in, to laid back conversations with cousins, aunts, and uncles, it will seem like a whirlwind. Enjoy every moment.
On your wedding day, you will put on the perfect dress, and prep for the final walk down the aisle as a single lady. The person on the outside, while beautiful, does no justice to the person on the inside I know so well. You have been given an innate, God-given love for people. We have always said, “Who wouldn’t love Madison?” You have continually made us proud.
With that being said, let me give you some fatherly advice as you begin this journey together.
We have always talked about the roles of a Husband and Wife from a Biblical perspective. God puts railings up in our lives to protect us and enjoy life like it was meant to be. God is not a “cosmic kill-joy,” but the Author and Creator of life, and as such, He sets parameters to protect us.
Your lives together will only work with God as the center of your home. This entails praying together about everything, and for one another. Couples that pray together will stay together. Pray together about each major decision. There may be times that ultimately your husband, as the leader of the home, has to make the call for your family. Be supportive in that.
Be the best encourager and help-mate that you can be to him. There is nothing better for a husband to know than that his wife encourages, loves and prays for him daily. It can make all the difference in the world. You know his responsibility to the family is great and he will ultimately be judged for the entire family. Be sensitive to that. Make sure he knows and understands he is number one in your life. The words “I love you” should never get old in the home. Keep your personal business between each other. Nothing can damage a relationship more than when confidences are broken. Avoid putting your spouse down in front of others or comparing him to somebody else’s spouse.
Be a willing worker and partner in the things you have to do in life, be it church, jobs, doing home improvements or anything else. That is the true definition of a help-mate.
Be an active listener. Try your best to set aside times just to talk to one another. Timing is everything when you need to talk. The best time to talk about important things is usually after your husband has come home, changed clothes, decompressed, and is available. Men generally will give a more favorable response when they have had time to unwind from the day. Don’t believe the phrase, “words never hurt you.” What and how you say things matter. Never use absolute words when you have a disagreement. Always give your spouse the benefit of the doubt. Remember, this is your best friend for life. When you argue or disagree, and yes, you will have disagreements, be mindful that just as God expects repentance of us, we should be quick to restore our relationship with our spouse.
There will be a time that God provides you children, either naturally or through adoption. They are always gifts. It will be both you and your husband’s responsibility to raise them up in the grace and knowledge of the Lord. As you were taught, allow honest questions about everything and give them honest answers. The Gospel story is true because of evidences of our faith, not because Mom or Dad said so. Be unified in the discipline and goal-setting for your children together. Don’t be afraid of demonstrating your love for one another in front of your kids. This is a great gift for children to see that Mom and Dad really love one another. Don’t forget to still date your husband after having kids. He is still the most important person in your life.
Don’t forget to still date your husband after having kids. He is still the most important person in your life.
You have always been a treasure to both your Mom and me. God has given you such a sweet spirit and so many gifts. Your gifts of love, encouragement, teaching, exhorting, and empathizing with people will take you so far. These traits are Christ-like. I always know that I can count on you when I need a task done, have worried about something, or need a listening ear. All those things you got from my best friend, your Mom.
I still remember taking my little kindergarten girl to school and seeing that amazing smile as you walked the hallways and waved to everyone. Always approach every day with that kind of sunshine. Just like your smile, your magnetic personality gives opportunity to love others and share the great gifts God has given you. As your Dad I have tried to teach you as best I could about faith, family, and life. In reality, you have taught me probably as much as I have taught you about how to embrace this life. No matter how far away you are or how tall a mountain you face, remember you can always count on me.
As I walk you down the aisle, never forget how proud I am of you and that your Dad is your biggest fan!
S. Montgomery (“Dad”)