Is It A Sin To Be Unequally Yoked
We see the following scenario play out too often today. A girl or guy is a believer and practicing Christian and becomes interested in someone exciting, fun, and attractive. Before they know it, they are emotionally engaged in a serious relationship. The only problem is that this person isn’t a Christian.
To get to the question at hand about this being a sin we can look to Scripture. II Corinthians 6:14 states clearly, “Do not be equally yoked with unbelievers.” In other words, don’t join together in a relationship or partnership. Marriage is a covenant relationship. While in this context Paul isn’t talking about marriage specifically, he is talking about relationships to unbelievers.
There are many problems that can and will arise in a marriage of unequally yoked people. Marrying a non-believer puts your wants and needs ahead of God. As I have discussed previously, anything that puts us on the throne of life instead of God is by definition wrong. God created marriage as a wonderful thing for His children to experience and share together. It is hard to share this amazing gift alone or with a non-believing spouse.
Children are always caught up in the middle of the struggle. Parenting is too difficult today with both parents being on the same page. Now enter a disagreement over religion, or lack thereof, and you have a recipe for real strife. Don’t fall for the following myths some believers tell themselves:
I can fix this person. This is also called by some people “missionary dating.” It is the idea that you can present different arguments to your partner that might persuade them to become a Christian in ways others might not be able to. I’m all for witnessing to everyone. However, witnessing to your spouse can be difficult, bring strife, and fracture the relationship all together. It is also a little arrogant to think you have the inside track because of your personal relationship with each other.
I can truly love that person and have a great personal relationship with God. This is a lie you have to tell yourself. Regardless of your feelings, one spouse always is having to give up something for the other. In a world where couples need to be pulling the rope in the same direction, so to speak, one person, normally the believer, generally has to give up a lot – Small group bible study, church activities, prayer times, etc. How do you deal with questions like, “Can the entire family go to church without the unbelieving spouse? What do you do in a crisis? How do you deal with priorities in spending or giving?” The idea that you can have a great relationship with God and have an unbelieving spouse is just delusional.
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[quote bar=”true” align=”center”]God created marriage as a wonderful thing for His children to experience and share together. It is hard to share this amazing gift alone or with a non-believing spouse.[/quote]
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I might not find anyone else. This is a problem of loneliness and a lack of trust in God’s sovereignty. I understand that people are different today and generally that younger generations are waiting later to marry. I also understand that finding a truly committed Christian is as difficult as ever. Having said that, God has the right person waiting for each of us. Admittedly, the hardest part of answered prayers is when that answer is wait. However, God knows and wants His best for us in our relationship with Him and a relationship with a spouse. Why would we choose to be with the wrong person as opposed to waiting for the right one?
Marriage is a shelter, a union, and a life-long fulfilling relationship when both people are Christians. Scripture teaches about two becoming “one flesh.” This is not only a physical picture but a spiritual one. There is nothing more fulfilling than being able to share with your spouse your worries, pain, and burdens and knowing that they are praying for you. Moreover, when pitfalls come or crisis happens, there can be no better safe haven than in the arms of a believing spouse that can comfort you. Don’t let yourself get deceived into one of these myths above and live with a life of regret. God has the right person out there for each one of us if we are willing to wait, pray, and follow His leading.
S. Montgomery